Mom Life

Harvey J.

I remember seeing him for the first time. It was at Godfrey Athletic Center. He was playing basketball with a bunch of other guys. We were fourteen at the time. The first thing that I noticed was his eyes. Man did those eyes end up causing trouble. I don’t remember him telling me his name. All I remember was he was cute, tall and played basketball. A couple of months later we were “dating.” It wasn’t the typical dating. First off we went to military school. Second writing notes and meeting in the library was pretty much all we could do. However, like many innocent fourteen-year-old relationships ours ended. I was heartbroken. It wasn’t so much of when it happened, it was how it happened. His friend did his dirty work for him over the phone. Little did I know that this wasn’t going to be the last time I would encounter this boy. Over the next few years, he would continue to appear in my life at what always seemed to be a turning point for me. I didn’t know that this boy I had met at fourteen would end up being my husband.

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I have been wanting to write this post for awhile but wasn’t sure how to begin. I didn’t know if I wanted it to be our story type of thing or just focus on my husband. Then one day everything just started to flow. Our story is in a way a happy one, but I wanted this post to focus on my husband. He has always seemed like a go with the flow kind of person to people, but that is only partially true. There is a lot more to him and that is what I want to showcase.

All through high school, Harvey was always seen as the laid back person. Some people called it “lazy”, but it wasn’t. He was just a guy that didn’t see the point of rushing. The thing that a lot of girls, including myself, always noticed was his eyes. I think it was always a conversation starter. He knew that was his way with the ladies, although he will deny it. But, these things people saw were superficial. It’s usually what teenagers focus on in the early years of high school. It wasn’t until we were seniors in high school that I began to see the real Harvey.35191_10150202382220707_754237_n

I remember him telling me all his dreams and what he wanted to do with his life. At first, I thought he was joking, but he was far from it. I remember one night a group of us were hanging out talking about our future and I had jokingly mentioned that Harvey wanted to go into the military. Everyone began laughing. He turned to me and said, “No, I don’t.” It’s as if we embarrassed. He ended up apologizing later on, but he told me to not mention that stuff to our friends. I said, Okay.

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I think back now at that particular conversation and it wasn’t so much that he was embarrassed. It was more of who he was as a person. Harvey has always been a low-key, humble person. He likes to let his accomplishments speak for themselves. That’s what I love about him. Always making goals, silently crushing them, and allowing them to shine through. 

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Harvey and I had our first born while we were still babies ourselves. I waited for Harvey to bolt. I thought to myself if he doesn’t leave while I’m pregnant for sure he will leave after she’s born. I was preparing myself emotionally to be a single parent. However, he didn’t bolt. He grabbed parenthood by the horns and stuck by my side. Mind you, two eighteen-year-old parents, there was bound to be ups and downs. But, we stuck them out. We became a team. 

Two years later we were married. Although people want to believe we only got married because we had a child, that is far from the truth. We got married because after all the years of being friends, flirting, dating, enjoying each others company we knew we were meant for each other. Harvey has shown me what love is and what it means to be loved. He literally has a heart of gold.

When I see him with our children, he’s happy. He’s always so excited to see them after a long day. He’s so patient and kind. He always wants to experience new things with them. He will always and forever put them first and for that, I couldn’t be happier. 

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He teaches me every day what it means to be patient, to be humble, to be kind, and to be passionate. He’s selfless. He’s strong. He’s resilient. He’s my best friend.

Before we got married I told Harvey that if there is ever a doubt in his mind that he would stop loving me, please don’t marry me. I was serious. He married me and he hasn’t stopped showing me love since.

After my dad passed away I told Harvey that he was now my family. I’ve only ever trusted and truly loved two men. One of them is now gone and now he had some big shoes to fill. He stepped into those shoes and hasn’t looked back.  

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I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know we will be there together. Harvey J has shown me a lot of things and taught me so much more. I can see so much of my husband in each of my children. I can see my husband’s humbleness, kindness, and motivation in our daughter. I can see my husbands childish ways in our son. I’m sure more will shine through as he continues to grow. I can openly and honestly say that Harvey has changed my life and will continue doing so…

To think all of this started when two fourteen-year-olds met at military school.

With Love,

Alyssa

 

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